sections

Monday, May 18, 2009

Why will I win?


The question haunts me a lot of times…..
And as I get up again ….
With the dust in my eyes…
Blinding me completely….
Trying to regain my balance.
The fall is bad ……..
and I see from the ground
A lot of people have gone miles ahead.
It has been hard.
I tried running a lot of times but slipped.
And everytime I slipped I lagged behind by a few miles….
A few years….a few more achievements….
And everytime I get up again …Iask my self
Why will I win ?
How will I soar above this sky
When all I have is a pair of hands and no wings .
Then I realise I am alive…..
the air is still with me.
The passion is still with me to fly….
And that’s why I will win…..

Why will I win?
When the sea ahead is very rough.
When my boat is full of holes and is sinking.
I will win because I have the oar still in my hands.
I will win because the power is still in those arms
To row across the wildest of seas……..
the roughest of storms……

Why will I win?
When the blood is oozing from all wounds….
When the soldiers around me have all gone
But I still have my sword in my hand …
I still have that roar…I still have that fanaticism

WHY will I win?
When the doors are all closed.
When the air is stifled ….its difficult to breathe.
But I still have hope.
To break free and crush all barriers and open the window
To the rays of light.

That’s why I will win
That’s why I will spring out from the deepest of pits
That’s why I will destroy all that stops.
And that’s why I will win.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Treasure


Fading away with each passing day
In the twilight I see
this way on which I had once walked away
searching for a Treasure .....in some paradise it lay...

" It will be mine" ....my heart would always say.
On my Way I met several people ..a happy bunch were they...
A special someone gave me love..adored me like a heaven above.
I thought I had my treasure now.

But it was not to be ." This is not for you " said God to me.
Your Treasure lay in a heaven far far away.
Strive to reach it one day.

So I moved on again ... in Vain.
Till one day I found a valley of Gold And I was happy."
But this is not what you really want" God told.
So I moved on again in disdain, thinking I had lost so much.
I had neither love
Nor did i have the gold and I was growing old.

I remembered the people I met how we loved but....all eventually left
I remembered the riches i Lost.
Flashes of the past cross my vision as i trot.
My treasure lay somewhere else i thought.

" Son , All these were mere stopovers on a long journey ahead" God Said."
Your Treasure is what you have in your heart"

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Subway


I looked for you in every compartment .
5 PM , you said you will see me .

But by 5.15 you were no where near me.
People poured in..people poured out....
But even after scanning all the faces ..
I was still on your lookout.

Every minute was an eternity.

By 5.30 I was in dispair

I saw a bench at the end of the platform.

Sitting alone , I closed my eyes and for a moment

I was lost...in the noise
trying to hear your footsteps...

And then I heard them .....
and two soft hands on my cheeks

You were there

" Eyes"


Black eyes.....blue eyes....green eyes....
there are so many colours....
But yours are neither.

They are made of love
and as it pours....
I am drowning

" Dream"


Sitting in a boat ...... you and me......
amidst white swans ....and beautiful trees.....
Slowly ....and slowly ...as I look deeper in your eyes,
I can see the lakes depth.

With each whiff of the air ...I smell the sweet fragrance of your perfume....

It's so intoxicating ..I am lost.
In a valley of flowers

Only the sound of the snuggling white swans brings me back to senses..

and I realize ....... I am back from
one dream and entering another.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Sleeping Beauty


Crumpled hair and lovely lips
A beauty queen
In bliss she sleeps

There is a faint smile on her face
Perhaps a happy dream
I watch her spellbound
Her peace is my strength

She feels like a child and I her mother
Her eyes are closed but I know
She is waiting for me
To wake her
To hold her
And say “ good morning girl”

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Saturday, March 14, 2009

23 feb 2009 , lodz , poland

I am thoroughly enjoying my stay in The Grand Hotel in Lodz.
My meeting was at 10 am and I was back in the hotel by 12 Noon.
But looking at the snow outside and the drizzle i decided that staying Indoors was indeed
the best option.
Let me tell you some thing more about this hotel.
The Grand Hotel is about 120 Years old .Built in 1888 its interiors and architecture
is very old.Most of the hotel is quite desolate and its actually quite creepy if you are alone.
The passegways to the rooms are very long and with very dull light chandeliers.
You would acrually think twice about staying hear alone .
But alas I had no options .Even my room had a 3 bulb chandelier.
Now two bulbs were ok but the third one wac constanty flickering.
I noticed it quite late.Initially I saw some thing moving on the wall.
First it were some shadows as the light changed and would incite some images.
Soon I was flooded with all the previous experiences and very soon
I was convinced there was something in the room .
Who knows if this place was a prison during the world war , or maybe a place for execution , or a large cemetery .Poland as it is has a lot of history of bloodshed during the second world war.Since I have been travelling alone since a while now staying
All by my self is ok with me.I thought it would be a good time to see a horror movie.
So I saw “1920 “ and by the time it was over .I was chanting hanuman chalisa.
By the end of it!
In the evening I decided to go and grab some dinner and beer for myself.
So I packed up from head to toe . boy it took me atleast 10 minutes.
I had a set of thermals then my sweaters, mufflers,gloves,cap and umbrella for the
Snow.It took me a while to find a takeaway but I did stumble across a Turkish sandwich shop .Its sandwich turned out to be surprisingly delicious.
I also located a beer shop finally.But the lady at the counter couldn’t understand
A world of English.Fortunately another shopper standing next to me knew English
And translated for me and recommended a strong polish beer.
So I was off with all the stuff ready to party in the room all alone in grand hotel !!
I had to leave for Krakow the next morning by train.

Monday, March 9, 2009

alas

i was sad ......" you never live to your committments " said she

but i knew it was not true ......alas all i knew ....was that the truth was so far from me.....

and yet i loved her too.....

" you are unreliable" said she

yes darling ......after all i am human too....

but yet i love you......

" i hope we never meet again" said she

i hoped the same dear....

but only out of fear...

as i couldnt face you again and hide my love from you

" we could have been together" said she

i hoped that my destiny was that too

but i guess everything is written.....and i couldnt do a thing " it could have been happily ever after"

it could have been so many things dear....

but the things are ...the way they are....

if only we had the courage to change them for the better

Sunday, February 22, 2009

22nd Feb 2009, Lodz, Poland

Voila , I have had a most amazing day in Poland.
I arrived in Poland with some preconceived notions about it being a Cold and Barren Place
and being an Ex communist regime I had my share of doubts regarding safety and
especially if i will be able to manage without english.
Well the first view I had from top of the sky when the flight was about to land was a vast sea
of white snow...initially I couldnt believe what I was seeing was indeed real.
There was snow for as much as I could see and in between the white snow I
could make out a few houses, roads were not visible at all.
The Airport is very regular , no fanfare nothing fancy...
I had a pickup from a company so transport was taken care of
The pilot had announced that the temp is -14 deg c and my shivers
had begun from there itself.
The drive from Warsaw to Lodz was about 2 Hrs .
Initially i passed a suburb of Warsaw but after that
there were vast fields full of nothing but snow and just a few scattered houses.
I can imagine what it must to live in a place so desolate and cold.
Some of the houses didnt even have a proper road leading to the house.
I took many pics on the way .It was actually a sight for the eyes.
We can see greys and blacks and greens in our cities even blue if you go to a beach.
But to see so much white is an amazing experience.
I finally arrived at Lodz and found it to be a place full of very old buildings.
Most of the construction is either too old , or bears marks of a lot of deterioration.
My hotel is a very old style with a old building.
You can see the old paintings in the alley and the Red Carpet must be a 100 Years Old.
I checked its history.The Grand Hotel in Lodz was built in 1888 and is located on the main, historical street of the city close to the commercial and cultural centre.
By the time I reached the hotel I was dead tired...
On the verge of collapsing.
So i plugged in the TV and to my delight there was an Indian Movie on it, dubbed in Polish.
It s quite incredible how far and wide Indian movies work!
I mean I am in the middle of Central Europe in a small city and it has an Indian Movie on Cable.
It was " Choker Bali" I actually havent seen it , so I finally saw it in Lodz,Poalnd!!
By the time i took a shower and got ready it was 4 PM.
I couldnt sit in the hotel for the evening so I decided to venture out.
With 4 layers of warmers,sweters,jackets,cap etc etc I headed .
In the lobby window suddenly I was a most beautiful sight.
It was snowing , not hard but enough to make you wet.
So I had to get back and out came my mini umbrella, I am glad I
bought it , indeed now it will come useful.
The area around the hotel had a lot of stores, but being a sunday all
were closed.The side walk was full of snow so walking was not easy.
And ofcourse my cheeks were hurting from the cold now.
It was the only part exposed.
I didnt have a pair of gloves , and in 2 minutes my palms were huting.
So i had to alternate my two hands in holding the umbrella and keep the other one
in the jackets warm packet.The place of alive and there were several people
walking.I had taken directions from the recptionist of a mall nearby and it was about
a 15 minute walk.But with this snow , wind and Snow on the ground it would surely
take double the time.But I had to go anyhow, as it was a lot fun , so i plugged
in my radio which was playing some amazing trance music.
I had to consult my map a couple of times to check if i was going the right way.
Europe has an amazing architecture.All the world war two movies that you may have
seen come alive here.I reached a large square which had an amazing statue of some gentelman.
But there was so much snow around that I had to watch it only from a distance.
I reached the mall and found it to be really alive.
People were least bothered about the weather and I was glad I was there too.
The Mall was great , just as malls are.
I loitered around for a while.First I had to grab a bite so I located the food court
and with not many options had to go for KFC.
At the counter the girl was not very clear with english but a fellow
person helped me .In Poland Very few people speak english i guess.
I finally bought a pair of gloves and a muffler and some groceries .
I didnt see any store near the hotel so I had to drag all this to my room.
The walk back was very difficult as there was even more snow on the side walks and i was
carrying about 5 kg of groceries as well.
Nevertheless I didnt loose my way .
On the way back I saw a guy on a lampost as I looked to see what he is doing.
But it was a statue!!
By the time I was back I was very tired of walking , plus
I had not taken any rest so i crashed in Bed.
Fortunately the Internet was free so I could watch a movie .
Its a long tour ahead and aleardy I have had an eventful time.
I hope tomorrow is even better.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

twilight

she sits by the setting sun
her eyes gleaming with a shine
the air is filled with her perfume
setting the tone
for a romantic evening ahead
a sweet tune hums somewhere
making her lost ....
as she blushes with the thoughts
of when he will come.
with every sound she rushes to the door
but comes back with a heavy heart.
the candles on the table are now lit
the room is bathed in a golden glow
the sky looks a dark shade of grey
with each passing moment her anxiety grows
as she stares at the watch ....
an endless wait…..
she is lost in dreams
of a happy land
of promises of red roses
as two arms engulf her
and she opens her eyes in joy!

Monday, February 2, 2009

30th Jan 2009,London

My second day in London and I am loving it to the core.
Today I had to go to Eastleigh,SouthAmpton.
It was about and Hours Journey from Gloucter Road Station near my hotel.
I am very lucky as my hotel was very near to the Station and also it was a very alive place.
Today I dressed to the core and I must say I looked great in my blue suit and red tie!
It is an amazing experience to dressup in the morning and go for work , take the subway,
have cofee on the way, truly spectacular.
My journey to eastleigh was quite pleasant .
The meeting was great as well and I was free by 3PM.
I was at the station and had to take the train at 3.11 for London.
Suddenly I realized that I had to call Mom.
Whilst I was on the call a train rolled in , but i mixed up and thought my train will be the
next one.But when there wasnt another train for a while I realized I had missed my train
right in front of my eyes!
So i had to go to the other platform and got on the next one.
The stations here have some great cofee and sandwich shops and cofee is great on a cold and
windy day especially!!
By now i am very familiar with travelling in trains in London , and feel no problems.
MY evening had to be celebrated after all my meetings were over.
So i decided to party.
After hanging in the net cafe for a while i decided i first needed the booze.
So i collected a few beers and then got some stuff packed from BK.
The place in the evening comes to life.
There were several bars,Restaurnts,stores.But going to these places alone is something
i was not too sure.
My hotel room was quite dull , so i decided to watch the old X files on my computer
Finally my party was on , good beer,fries,chicken sandwiches and my hotel room with X files!
Since tomorrow i had to go to Rams place i could get up whenever i wanted.
All in all it was a great day

Friday, January 30, 2009

29th Jan 2009 , London

My first visit to the UK has been quite fascinating.
It is the first time that I am travelling all alone.
The first thing that greets you in London is the laid back buildings and houses
straight out of a fairytale and reminds you of stories like hansel and gretl.
England has an amzing railway infrastructure.
Commuting from one place is failry simple.
I took a train from Heathrow to Earls Court which was an exciting experience.
The subway is jam packed in the morning and you find yourself surrounded by people
in suits , running for work , Brits,Indians , Africans orientals , there are all kinds of faces .
I travelled the first day to swindon which is an hours train journey from Paddington station.
Reminds of the book by agatha christie .
The overland journey to swindon was very pleasant.
I got to see the beautiful english country side.
Most of the construction is of red bricks and all the houses look similar.
The most striking thing about some of the smaller stations is their construction.
It reminds you of any other indian railway station!
My hotel room turned out to be quite small , the way i had expected.
It has a bunk bed , the one in which you have to climb up!
London is a very alive place , you can be alone , but still not feel bored.
In many ways it reminds me of NY also.
i am here for a few more days lets see what else is in store

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Wrong Number : a short story

The Wrong Number

Ring Ring.......
it's 5 AM and god knows who is calling me so early in the morning.
I imagine the phone is ringing in my dreams till I come out of my semi- coma
state and see the blue light of my phone lighting up the stark dark room.

" Hello "....I said.
" Hello , Who is this?" said the voice on the phone.
" Its 5 AM man!! , you got to know whom you are calling"....I shouted back ,irritated.
"Is this 9999050057 ?" said the voice on the phone.
" Yes it , is . Who are you " I was getting impatient by now.
" Hello Mr. Bhalla , this is Wadhwa, sorry to bother you so early in the morning,sir”said the voice.
“Huh…..There is a mistake , there is no Mr. Bhalla here , this is a wrong number”
I said and disconnected the phone.
I always have a hard time sleeping back after an interruption.
So I was just making up my mind whether to hit the sack for a few more hours…..
….and the phone was ringing again…
“ Darn it”..I shouted
“Hello, who is this?” I yelled.
“ Mr. Bhalla , is that you?” Said the voice.
“Dude, this is the WRONG NUMBER!!, please check your number!!” I said in a stern voice and disconnected the call.
With this the morning was ruined.
I was sure I couldn’t sleep anymore.
I realized it was Sunday finally , and I had to meet Riya for a movie at 10.
So I decided to get out of bed and head for a Jog, it was almost 6 and the sun was barely out.
So I put on my shoes, plugged in my ipod and was on my way.
During the next ten minutes I got a few more calls from the same number
But I never picked it.
I had had enough by then.
It was a beautiful morning and the morning air was refreshing.
As I started the run across with Moby playing a great tune in the ipod I quickly forgot about the mornings events , there were several things running through my mind.
It was my second date with Riya.
We had met at a common friends wedding and things took off really quickly.
So with thinking about what should I wear and what flowers I must buy for Riya I left the park.
Ring Ring!!!
One again there was a call coming in , but this time from another number.
I decided not to pick it again.
And let the phone ring, perhaps the caller will realize that he has the wrong number.

Ring Ring!
The phone was ringing again.
It looked like the entire networks calls were routed on my number today.
Riya Calling.
“Hi Honey”, I Said.
“Hi Sid” what time are you picking me up?” Riya Said.
“I should be at your place by 11, be ready” I Said
“ Come a little early , don’t you wanna come up??” she said teasingly
“ OK , this offer is too hard to resist” I said chuckingly.
“ I will be there by 10 then!” I said with a smile.
“ Hey what happened to your phone in the morning? I tried calling several times” She Said
“ I know, There have been some crank calls since morning” I said
“Hey I hope you don’t have anything to do with this” I asked qizzingly.
“ What are you talking , I have been sleeping, just got up a few minutes back” Riya Said.
“ Then it must be some one else” I said in a puzzled tone.
“ All right I will get ready now, See you in one hour” I said as I disconnected the call.
I was home by now.
As I opened the apartment door and entered the phone was ringing again.

Ring Ring !
My god what was happening today.
I saw another landline number calling.
In two minds whether to pick the call or not, I finally answered.
“Hello” I said
“Hello, who is this?” this time it was different voice.
“Listen , you have the wrong number , I have told you several times , this is Siddharth Kapoor,there is no Mr. Bhalla here.”, I said. And disconnected the call.
The phone rang several times again whilst I got ready but I didn’t pick it.
It seemed that I had to complain to the Customer care about this now.
This was getting too much now!
I left for Riya’s.
I reached Riya’s place and with a whistle on my lips and a beautiful fragrance of GUCCI which I had bought recently I rang the bell.
Riya opened the door.
“ You look gorgeous” I said.
“And you are late!!! Let’s go” she began to leave.
“I thought we will have some coffee first” I said
“Ha-ha.That was a ploy to get you here on time!” she smiled
“Ya Ya , you laugh , first I get these crank calls all morning which ruined my sleep” I said
“What calls? …ok listen I can hear your story in the car , lets go” she said as we headed towards the elevator.
Ring ring! .
“Oh damn it’s the same number again” I said.
“At least pick it up” Riya said.
“Hello” I said
“This is Sion police station……..I am ……..” and the call got disconnected
“What happened” asked Riya, as we got out of the elevator.
“The voice was breaking, but I couldn’t hear properly, but the person said that he calling from the
Sion police station…that’s all that I could hear” I said.
“This has got to be a prank call, these days these radio shows also call you a lot of times”
“Riya if you have any hand in this I will see you!” I said.
“No baba, I don’t know anything.” She said
“ok lets go , forget all this , we must reach the mall on time “ she said and we left.
We reached the mall in 20 minutes .
There are no more calls for a while.
“Come quickly , there is a lot of rush” said Riya as we saw a huge crowd in the mall.
It was Sunday afternoon , all of Mumbai is free and wants to see a movie!
Ring Ring!!
“it’s the same number again” I said as I saw the same number flashing on the cell display.
“ Sid the movie is about to start!!, please switch off your cell and come “ shrieked Riya.
“ok let me pick it one last time, if its another crank call I will switch off the phone” I said.
“hello” I said

“hello , this is sub inspector kamble from sion police station, who is this?” said the voice
The voice sounded crisp and genuine, it definitely was not a fake.
“ This is sid…err sidharth kapoor, how can I help you inspector?” I said in a puzzled manner.
“ Do you anyone by the name Anil Wadhwa?” the inspector said.
“ Anil Wadhwa !, no inspector ,I am sorry “ I said
“ I don’t know any one by this name” I said even more confused.
I had heard this name for the first time.
“ Are you Sure? The reason we are asking is that there has been an accident here “ said the inspector.
“ A person who was travelling in the local train slipped from the train and was crushed under the wheels of an oncoming train”

“ His face was crushed beyond recognition , all we found with him was a wallet with his driving license and his cell phone which surprisingly was not destroyed.”
“The last call that he made was to your number at about 5 AM today in the morning”


Suddenly everything became crystal.
“ ok ok …..Inspector I think I know what you are talking about, there was a wrong number on my cell by a guy named Wadhwa, I think it is the same person who you are talking about.He was looking for some one else and dialled my number by mistake” I said in a shock as the truth dawned on me.

“Since the last call on his cell were to you we decided to call you”
“ We have been trying to contact you since morning but every time before I could say anything you disconnected the phone” said the inspector.

“ I am sorry about that inspector , I thought it was the same person calling “ I said finding it hard to realise, that ….that person was dead!

“Thanks for your support, in case there is no one found from his family we have instructions to go ahead with the cremation in 48 hours” said the inspector
“We would also need you to come to the police station and record your statement, after all you were the last person to speak to him when he was alive” said the inspector.
“Thanks a lot inspector, I will be there” I said …
And the phone was disconnected.

I was in a state of shock. I finally found the reason for the wrong number.
I felt strange, although I didn’t know the person.
Had never met him, but just heard his voice.
I was sad and numb.
Suddenly I realized Riya was not there.
Riya had gone inside the theatre and was waiting .

“What happened? What took you so long? Whose call was it? I have been waiting since so long” She shouted


I smiled and said” It was a wrong number”